Tuesday, August 02, 2005
I Feel Something Taking Over Me
It's positivity. Something I've not felt in a LOOOOOONG time. I don't know what it is but I'm starting to feel that love of life feeling. I've fought it for months because I didn't want to feel like a sucka. **For some reason I look at all that positivity as sickening... like when you see 2 people acting all lovey dovey and shit, ya know what I'm talking about?** It's also a way that I protect myself from falling. After all, how can I fall if I'm already at the bottom.
Anyway, this shit is feeling good. (Sigh) I've missed it. It's like a drug taking over me. I've been depending on sex, weed, and alcohol to bring me back up from my dismal feeling. I've been down for so long it's such a relief to feel this, I swear. I don't know how long it will last, but I hope it's for a long time. I need this. I mean, my views on relationships is still negative but at least I can be a better person to be around, ya know? At least I can still feel good about life in general versus feeling like it has no purpose.
Now maybe my posts will have more positive stories. If they don't however, it's because I'm writing what I feel; after all, this is my therapy.
[ TheSaga | 1:54 PM | 
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4 Comments:
Your thoughts are DEEP ta-day, aren't they? LoL
I'm lovin' the Dove ad. I don't know why you're "Euphorically Happy" and all, but I likes....
I'on know 'bout the dumpin part, maaaaan. Maybe this stuff you're on won't let it phase you right now...(psst and just maybe deep down you're looking for something deeper than some "stuff") LoL
Ah! I'm so happy that you're happy! About damn time ... lol. J/K ... feels good, doesn't it?
harpo: yeah, i had a million things going through my head. nah, i dont want anything deeper. i'm sure of that. deep stuff gets too sticky. i dont think it's the pills though cuz all they do is boost my testosterone and that doesn't have much to do with happiness levels, ya know? i think i'm just getting out of this slump.
systa: yeah, it's starting to feel good.
I love reading this, savor it, and even when shit gets tough, KNOW that you can get this feeling again, it's always on you bruh. You have the power within you to handle things, get through it, and come out appreciating the sweetness that's in your life...and if that makes you a punk, then be a punk ..nahmean?
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