Saturday, August 20, 2005

The Day I Felt The Purest Love

**I think I've written about this on Mechanismz a looong time ago, but here we go again**

I remember that day vividly. My older son was actually about 3 months old. The beauty of fatherhood was taking forever to set in. All I'd felt up until this day was frustration from working more, having to squeeze studying into my cramped schedule, and from lack of any social life. Well, on this day it was just him and me. My son was in his swinger crying and I was on the internet downloading tunes. One of the songs I'd downloaded was Edwin McCain's I Could Not Ask For More. Anyway, he'd started crying and I just rolled my eyes as frustration started to set in. I decided to just pick him up and see if he'd stop crying. He didn't stop immediately as I sat back down at the computer with him in my arms. I put on this particular song, I Could Not Ask For More, and he stopped crying as his dark eyes connected with mine. They went through me like a laser.


I can't describe what happened but it was so magical. At this moment my life had all the meaning in the world. At this moment money didn't matter... nothing material mattered. The only thing I felt was true, unconditional love. This little baby boy didn't care that I was a nobody in the working world, that I was "just a taxi driver", years away from my degree. He didn't care that I couldn't supply him with gifts. He didn't care that we lived in a run down neighborhood with hardly any furniture. He didn't care what I looked like. He didn't care about anything, I mean ANYTHING, as long as I was there to hold him, as long as I was there for him, as long as I was there to show him love, nothing else. He didn't want anything other than that, love. It happened so quickly, so suddenly and so drastically... I couldn't help but to change who I was from this point on. I couldn't help but to lay down my gun, I couldn't help but to stop selling drugs on the side, I couldn't help but to think before making a stupid move, for I had him now... a God given gift. He was the proof of God's existence I'd needed all my life. (I know that my faith has been shaky, but at least I've always known of His existence. There's no doubt in my mind about that.)


We just looked at each other for what felt like an eternity as the song played:


Looking in your eyes, Seeing all I need
Everything you are, Is everything to me
These are the moments, I know heaven must exist
These are the moments, I know all I need is this
I have all I've waited for, And I could not ask for more.
I could not ask for more than this time together
I could not ask for more than this time with you
Every prayer has been answered
Every dream I have's come true
And right here in this moment, Is right where I meant to be
Here with you, Here with me...

I could not ask for more than the love you give me, 'cuz it's all I've waited for
. . .And I could not ask for more

[ TheSaga | 5:25 PM | ]