Monday, August 15, 2005
Are You Showing Yourself To Me?
Her body's taken a beating from this pregnancy. She went into labor a month and a half early; she was forced to because she had a couple of seizures early this morning. The sun is going down and she's still affected from the seizures. She doesn't know what's going on around her. She doesn't even know her baby's been born. She doesn't know she's had the C-section. All she does is lay there, throwing her arms in the air, trying to move around in her bed without any knowledge of what's going on around her.
The baby weighs 3 lbs and is actually doing fine. They're going to keep him in the hospital for 6-8 weeks for observation then let him come home. They really think he'll be okay. I'm worried for him all the same though. I'm especially worried about her though. Why hasn't she come out of her combative trance? Why hasn't she woken from her seizure induced sleep? Why is she swinging her arms like that? Why is she being so physical? I have to hurry back to the hospital soon. Man... I'm scared here...
My faith has been shaky. Are You showing yourself to me? Are You punishing me? What are Your intentions here? I almost want to pray, I'm so desperate... I want to believe that You'll come through for us. Will You? Will You take pity on me even though I've cursed You? Will You believe me when I say I'm sorry? Well, either way... I'm sorry. If You're here for me or not, if I have to make it on my own or with Your help, if You leave my newborn baby motherless, either way You decide things should be, I'm sorry. I rid myself of my anger towards You. I'm sorry.
[ TheSaga | 5:29 PM | 
]
4 Comments:
I am sure he knows your heart, this was very touching.
I hope mother and child get better soon. Hang in there, bruh.
God is merciful. Leave it in His hands. You've done what you need to do ... and that's ask for forgiveness. I'm here if you need me.
That's very powerful.
I know your thoughts are mangled right now. Please believe that He heard you. I'm with Songbird, and I am oh so proud of you. You're making colossal steps all over the place. It's always hard when you're trying to get a relationship with Him or a better of understanding of His ways and intentions for you.
Your child has already proven to be a little fighter, and I pray also, that his mother will have a speedy recovery. Unbeknownst to us, there's a reason for everything.
You, your newborn son, and his mother are in my prayers.
My bad....Silentbird.
Post a Comment
<< Home